DISQUS

Funny about Money · 1 year ago

Please. Come and teach my classes at the Great Desert University and see what YOU can do for the kids who are triaging their coursework while they struggle to keep up with classes and a job. There are altogether too many kids in this predicament; many -- I'd venture "most" -- don't do very well academically.

Universities, GDU among them, discourage the ten-year plan. It's now the style to say a student must get out of the place in four years. Consequently, full-time students are expected to work full-time at their studies. So the kids sign up for 16 or 18 units -- a heavy course load -- and then go out and spend 20 hours a week stocking shelves, flipping burgers, waiting tables, or digging ditches.

Expecting them to hold a job on top of a full-time course load means you're expecting the kids to work time and a half. At the job there's a boss who demands that they show up and forces them to pay attention to the work. At school they have to be entirely self-starting. So...when something has to go, it's likely to be the schoolwork.

They're paying to be in school. Why cheat them out of the opportunity to take full advantage of what they're paying for?

Other commenters are correct in noting that many 19-year-olds are too immature to benefit fully from a university education. However, often when young people drop out of the schooling cycle after high school, they never return. Once you have a full-time job and a family, you have pressing immediate concerns and tend not to think over the long term. Even if you do, you may be trapped. I spent a number of years teaching returning adult students, and I can assure you, no one should envy people who are trying to raise kids (often in the absence of a spouse), pay rent or a mortgage, make car payments, hold down a full-time job, and go to college. This is not doing anyone any favors.

If your kid is so immature that she or he is partying instead of attending to school, the answer is clear: quit subsidizing the party. But to assume that all students party irresponsibly or that it is good for kids to make them work a minimum-wage job while they engage in the full-time job of university studies is wrong.

Bob McDonald · 1 year ago

I used to teach at a local college with about half "on campus" and half "day students." The day students were all at least contributing to their education. By the end of a few weeks, I could pretty much tell who was paying their way and who was there on Mom and Dad's dime. Generally, The ones who were working always seemed to have their classwork done. And many of the "dorm kids" were master procrastinators. I think that's when I first started using the expression "If you want something done, ask a busy man."

Having said that, I helped my kids as much as I could, which at the time left plenty of need for school loans and work. Looking back, I'm just as happy I couldn't do more because it did make them more self reliant.

bsmith · 1 year ago

Wow, I thought I was the only one who thought this way. Great post!

First, many (or most) kids would be better off going to a trade school, enlisting in the military, etc. Forcing them into college is doing them a disservice.

Second, having them pay for their schooling improves the learning experience. As you indicated, they value it more and focus on their performance vs. the next party. If it includes part time work, it teaches the work ethic and gives valuable experience that will pay off down the road.

Kitty · 1 year ago

I agree with you about forcing kids into college. Not everyone is meant for college OR a white-collar/fancy job that a lot of colleges offer.

Besides - when you force a kid to go to college - and make them think that they can't ever move ahead in life without a college degree - you end up filling the classrooms with people who just don't care.

Kitty · 1 year ago

My parents paid for four years of college - for my last year, I have to get student loans. However - I pay for gas (I drive an hour and a half to school), and even though that doesn't sound like much - a tank for my Camry is almost 60 dollars. Some semesters I was going through a tank a week.

It always upsets me when people say "When the parents pay for college - the kids won't care and will party all the time."

I make good grades - I have yet been to a college party - and I work 30 hours a week. I may not be the BEST student who spends all her free time studying, but I make good grades, and I understand how much it's costing my parents. Also - I'm very grateful.

In fact - the only class that I've been in to where no one cared about their grades was an exercise class full of athletes who got full paid sports scholarships.

Money Matters · 1 year ago

It sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders, and you are definitely not the type of student that I'm talking about when i refer to those who take it for granted.

But even from your having to pay for the last year of college, and paying for gas expenses, it sounds to me like you have had to make your own contribution, and appreciate it more and are more thankful for what your parents have done for you. Is that off base?

Kitty · 1 year ago

No, but I wasn't trying to sound angry or anything like that. Please don't think that.

Nice blog!

The Debt Defier · 1 year ago

i paid my own way through college and i have to admit it was frustrating to see most of my classmates getting money from their parents. they had a lot more time to study and relax than i did. BUT i did learn about money a lot faster than they did and it built character. it's all about balance. if you do have the means to help your kids, i'd say go for it but make them work for it.

hankstram33 · 1 year ago

Absolutely - my old man paid for the initial down payment I needed to make on the tuition, but I had to apply for all the loans. I couldn't have afforded it otherwise, but yes, I will do something very similar with my children...

Llama Money · 1 year ago

Help is good, no doubt - just not a free ride. I think you and I have similar outlooks on kid's college costs. If school is free, and they don't have to work, how hard will they really try, and what will they really learn?

markordonna2004 · 1 year ago

I think a lot depends on the situation and the child. I don't feel it is a parents job to pay for all their child's education. My step daughter graduates in a couple weeks. She has never taken her grades serious and waits until the last minute to do major papers and wonders why she did not get good grades. We paid for her to take an ACT class as well as books to read. She chose not to study. She did not do bad but at the same time did not qualify for any schlorships. We told her we would pay 1/3 and her mom would contribute what she wanted and my step-daughter would be responsible for the rest through grants, schlorships or loans

Jessica · 1 year ago

I just found your blog recently and am really enjoying what you are sharing. Thank you.

I'll throw my two cents in on this issue. I had a very small college fund and a few scholarships when I went to school. My mother pretty quickly weaned me off of any assistance from her as her financial situation changed drastically right when I started college. I completed 5 years of school (unavoidable due to my degree program) without any student loans. Between the college fund, an inherited VA benefit, and a few part time jobs I managed to live on my own and not incur debt as I studied for my ADN and RN license. I finished my last two years of school working part time as an RN while studying for my BSN.
I think my success in graduating was due to several factors - I was not a partier, by nature. I had help financially but I still had to be careful with what money I did have because I knew there wasn't an unending supply. I was motivated to do well and stay in school because the part time jobs I had just reminded me that I didn't want to stay in those types of jobs forever. Even once I had my RN license. I knew that to get where I wanted to go I needed to get that Bachelor's degree.
For our own daughters, we have mutual funds set up. We plan to encourage them to go to school for several reasons. We want them to have that good base of education that will leave many options open for them in their lives. We want them to complete the majority of their schooling prior to marriage and children. We don't want them to have to start their post-school life with major debt.
My husband graduated with $20K in debt. We married before he finished school and paid about 3K off before he even graduated. It took us another 8 years to pay the rest off, despite our best efforts. The burden of a loan is something I don't want my children to have to start life off with. I want them to know how to manage their money, avoid debt, save for what they want, work hard, find scholarships, and be able to start life following school with a positive balance in their finances.